Something’s missing.

I was looking through pictures of girls I go to school with to pass the time and I realized that I was becoming a bitter mess the more times I clicked to the next picture. Then I went to look at the senior picture site and I only came to be more upset. After I finally grew a brain and put down my computer, I went to look in the mirror; I starred at myself for a few minutes and then began to pose like the girls on the senior models’ page. After that I walked to my closet and found a dress and the only pair of high heels I own and I put them on. But you see, how gorgeous those girls were compared to me was only half my problem. No amount of clothing could fix my real issue.

In all of those pictures, not only did I see beautiful girls… there was more than that to be jealous of. I began to feel as if I had missed out greatly on the high school experience. I saw these girls out partying with all of their friends. They looked so happy in all of those pictures, so free. This whole time I’ve been trying to please my parents, I’ve been doing what I’m told. Sometimes my dad will tell me stories of what his life was like at my age and it sounds like so much more enjoyable than mine. So I suppose I’m even jealous of him. He’s lived his life to the fullest. You might say, “but Sydney, you still have college to party and do what you want to do!” and I agree with you because I’ve said the same thing to myself. That is until I realize that college life will be hard to adjust to since I haven’t ever been exposed to that kind of thing. I’ll go to college still not fond of the taste of beer, something I should have been training my taste buds for this whole time, or at least the past three years. The flip side of my dad’s amazing life is my mom’s, no offense to her, because she’s even said that she regrets not being a little more crazy when she was young and could have. She regrets not having those stories of times that you’ll never forget, those great nights where you feel on top of the world, the funny stories you tell your children someday.

ImageImageEveryone at my school this year began making their “summer bucket lists” and most of mine include trying something new or escaping my comfort zone. I feel like there’s one year left to make high school matter. Despite the lack of friends I’ve found myself with due to some unfortunate drama, I want to make this the best year of my life, so far. I need to get out there and do what high school is all about because if I don’t I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. If you feel like your life has gotten insanely boring and you do the same thing with it everyday, take this challenge with me- try new things, take a risk, and expand your horizons. That’s my motto for this summer! 

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2 thoughts on “Something’s missing.

  1. Hey, when I was reading your blog post, I suddenly had a deja-vu because you reminded me of myself when I was in high school, and it’s only been 3 years since I graduated.
    I have lived a life of rules and trust me, it doesn’t go to waste. Sure, everybody should have some fun once in a while but because I was a good girl and actually used my head, I didn’t do any dumb shizz that my classmates were doing at that time. SCORE! 😀
    It’s a hard. I struggle with the way I look all the time, but please, stop looking at the photos, they’ll only make you feel bad about yourself. I did the same thing and I was like, “Why in the name of God, was I depressing myself?” High School can be awful (I had no friends, and my social life was a disaster like seriously) but when I got into college, I felt that this was a chance for me to start anew.
    And trust me, you’ll be worrying about midterms, finals and your GPA to think about how you’ll manage drinking beer in front of the “experts”. 😉 But don’t forget to take lots of pictures, (Start taking pictures now! You’ll find out your life is SO not bland and unexciting) and going to a party once in a while. You are beautiful, just accept it and you don’t need heels or make-up to prove that (Although a little mascara or gloss doesn’t hurt)

    Okay, I think I should stop with the lecture here.

    • justonegirl says:

      Thank you very much! I can’t wait for college. It’s an opportunity to be myself and actually have some good friends. Once you lose them in high school it’s difficult to make new ones haha. But really, thank you it means a lot!

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