I realized something today. I’ve been so far out of my comfort zone all week and I LOVE IT. Last week was probably the best of my life. It started out horrible because Ethan broke up with me after eight months, but after that something amazing happened: I became happier than ever. I started talking to some new people, getting their numbers, and hanging out with new people too. If you knew me, you’d know that’s just not stuff that I do very often. I don’t like to reach out to people and I have a really bad anxiety problem. However, this break up was the little kick I needed to start living my senior year to the fullest. When I lost my friends last year to date Ethan, I was trading in two or three good friendships for one boy. It sounds stupid now but I assure you it was probably the right decision. Except for the fact that I didn’t bother finding new friends or anything because I had one amazing friend and a few that I hadn’t lost.
When he broke up with me it honestly felt like my life had ended and that there was nothing I could do to make it better; I cried my eyes out for two days straight. Then I got up and I realized that I’ve had break ups in the past and felt like I’d never find someone else, my life was ruined, ect. But eventually I moved on from it. Once I saw that God has a plan for me, I trusted that. I know that this break up was for the best because something better will come along for me. Obviously, Ethan isn’t the right guy and if he’s going to be the way he was- I don’t need him. It’s only been about a week since the break up and I already have multiple new friends and a bright outlook. I also have a new crush (;
So, to any girls out there thinking that your life is over, IT’S NOT! All you need to do is wake up from all of that sadness and be real with yourself. You’ve loved before, you’ll love again!
Also- one of my friends gave me this advice the other day. He said, “This guy will realize someday how much you did for him, how you loved him, and he’ll see that you were what he really wanted. If he wants to explore other opinions or ‘doesn’t like you anymore’ he’s an idiot. Sooner or later he’s bound to realize that but he’ll be too late- you’ll be with someone who treats you like a princess and will give you all of the things you want.” (No, he doesn’t like me or anything, so don’t think that haha. We’re just friends.) His advice made such an impact, just hearing songs where people realize they had what they wanted and lost it make me laugh a little now.
Anyways, I just wanted to give you all an update on how I’m doing. My life is wonderful and I love that I’m finally being a little more outgoing and social. My anxiety has gotten SO much easier and I’m able to do some things I never would have dreamed of before. In fact, another on of my friends that I don’t talk to as much said, “You’ve changed. When you met you freshman year you were pretty and shy, now you’re absolutely beautiful and outgoing. You let the real you come out now instead of holding it in!”
So, in a way, I thank Ethan- if he ever happens upon this blog again and reads this post, I hope he knows that those eight months were great. I’m in no way saying I didn’t love him and that our relationship was bad, because that would be a lie. But I’m kind of thankful for him breaking up with me.. I’ve grown a lot as a person in just one short week. I’m a much happier and healthier person because of this (: