Reflection.

Wow. I can’t believe it’s really coming to an end… I feel like my life is ending and a brand new one is about to begin. No one told me how much emotion, deep thoughts, and worrying come into play when you graduate from high school; they don’t tell you how bittersweet the whole thing is. I’ve basically checked out of school because I know I’m ready for summer but I don’t know if I’m ready to check out of my hometown and go away to college… I’m nervous. I know it’ll be a blast, and two of my cousins live nearby. The thing I’m really scared for is to leave this life behind… especially a few important people. My parents always say that they aren’t friends with any of their high school friends but I don’t want that to happen. This year I went through friends faster than any other period of my life, I had several “best friends” that were dropped for one reason or another, however I have two friends that have made it since 6th & 7th grade, they’re amazing and I don’t want to fall out of contact with them.. it’s actually a good thing that they’re staying in town for at least the first year of their educations, that means I can see them when I come home. There is one friend I’m worried about losing though, she’s become my very best friend over the past few months- she’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a best friend, the only person I’ve ever met with the same taste in music, she’s also the only friend I’ve ever had that was willing to lay it all on the line to have my back. I’m so lucky to have finally found someone with the characteristics I’ve always wanted in a friend, someone who honestly cares about me as much as I care about them; it’s a powerful feeling. I guess I’m scared that I’ll go away to college and leave them behind, maybe they won’t talk to me anymore and they’ll fade away ):

I’m also kind of scared to leave my parents. I can’t wait to be able to make my own decisions without having to text them every time I make a move. It’s annoying and I can’t wait until I can be spontaneous without having to tell them where I’ll be/ when I’ll be home. I will miss them though, I’ll miss seeing them whenever I want and telling them about my day. I just feel like I’m too young to leave home… even though I want to.

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Blue.

In one of my classes my teacher told us that we were going to do some personality quizzes, which I didn’t mind because it’s kind of like a more accurate Tiger Beat quiz. Remember Tiger Beat? I used to love flipping through those pages, skmiming through the gossip, and stopping at every little test there was. So my teacher laid a paper down on my desk; it asked me what I usually talk about, what I like in conversations, ect. When I was finished all that was left to do was add up my points. The test told me that I had blue communication, as opposed to gold, orange, or green.

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We all need a little guidance sometimes.

Feel free to skip to the (*) unless you happen to be my grandparents or just enjoy an angry rant from time to time! (: 

I did something stupid two nights ago and, because my grandparents have decided that it’s okay to deny me any privacy (I found my blog up on their computer a few weeks ago which REALLY pissed me off), I’m afraid I can’t tell you the whole story. Before I begin, do you even know how upset I am that I opened my grandparents’ laptop only to see “Just One Girl” across the screen? I can’t communicate to you the feelings of violation, anger, sadness, and confusion I felt. There’s no way that they could have found my blog… there are a total of three people who I’ve ever allowed to see my blog. None of them would have any contact with my grandparents, so I have no idea how they found it. The thing that upsets me the most is that I made a Myspace and my mom demanded that I add her as a friend, I made a facebook and my entire family hopped on board even though I didn’t want to add any of them, then I started twitter (I was alone for awhile because it wasn’t popular yet but soon everyone was following me and my grandmother decided it was acceptable for her to stalk my profile and point out cussing, ect. to my mom -_-), and now a blog. I made this blog for ONE MAIN REASON, so I could finally vent my private thoughts to people who could give me advice that don’t actually know me or have any ties to my life. I’m irritated as FUCK (your welcome grandma) that my privacy has been FUCKING taken from me. All I wanted was one FUCKING GOD DAMN place to vent, get advice, and talk about my life without my family or peers knowing about it. 

*Anyways, back to the original point of my post. My friends and I went camping for spring break. I ended up calling my ex-bestfriend Jason… I know I shouldn’t have, but I did.

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Spring Break!

Every year I read a million statuses about where everyone gets to go for spring break- cruises, beaches, lodges, other countries, ect. and every year I’m annoyed that I have to stay at home. This year was even worse because everyone is traveling with their friends on road trips and, of course, to beaches. I wanted to do something like that but I know my parents would never let it happen. I mean, letting your 17-18 year old HIGH SCHOOL children go to the beach with their friends is expensive and a little ridiculous. Then two of my best friends and I came up with a genius plan, first we wanted to do a road trip but figured our parents wouldn’t us going somewhere completely random and it’s difficult for 17 year olds to find somewhere to stay… hotels don’t allow anyone under 18 to make reservations. The more we thought about it, the better a camping trip sounded. So we asked my mom and, surprisingly, she said yes! So the week of spring break I will be camping in a pretty nice cabin with two of my favorite people, Jami and Delvon! It’s going to be amazing! (: 

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Cartoon Conspiracy.

So I’m sure you’ve heard of some of these odd conspiracy theories regarding popular cartoons, they are just so interesting to me so I decided to share + offer some of my own input. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did!

1. (my personal favorite) Courage the Cowardly Dog: 

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“Courage is actually a normal dog and he sees the world through a dog’s eyes. All the villains in the show are just normal people, but to a little dog they seem scary. They don’t actually live in the middle of Nowhere, but since his owners are too old to take him outside for walks, he only knows what’s around his immediate property, and everything beyond that is nothing because he’s never seen it.”

How much sense does that make? I genuinely believe this one and major props to the creators/writers because it’s GENIUS. I mean think about it, Courage always feels like he has to protect Muriel and Eustace even though they act like everything is normal and Courage is freaking out for apparently no reason. All you have to do is think about your own dog, if you have one. Mine barks when you open windows, use the printer, or when someone is at the door and he honestly believes that he’s protecting me. Plus, he only gets to see the places that I take him! This theory makes perfect sense and I wish someone would have told me when I was kid! I wouldn’t have been so freaked out by it!

2. Rugrats:

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If you love something, let it go.

I posted all about my weekend already, I told all of you how awesome it was. I spent time with my mom, I touched Luke Bryan; it was the perfect weekend. Sunday night I went to bed really early and woke up Monday refreshed and ready to go, Tuesday I went to an awesome hockey game with some friends, the rest of my week was just great thing after great thing. This morning a girl in my first period class who I only talk to from time to time brought me a doughnut to school… like, honestly, it was the best week ever! So I’m wondering… why is it that the only thing on my mind is Ethan, AGAIN? It’s like I get completely over him for two weeks, then I have a relapse for a few days. I hate it. 

I’m watching How I Met Your Mother right now, in the episode I finished watching just before logging on to WordPress, Barney tells Robin that he wants them to break up with their current significant others to get back together. Barney goes to Nora’s to break up with her and her parents are there, so he finally gets to meet them. Her dad says, “When you meet the right person, you know it. You can’t stop thinking about them. They’re your best friend, and your soulmate. You can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with them. No one and nothing else can compare.” Barney goes through memories of Robin as he listens because he knows that she’s his soulmate, he loves her. Robin, on the other hand, acts as if she’s going to do it but Kevin tells her that he loves her so she decides to stay with him. Barney had told Robin that they would each do what they have to do and meet at the bar at midnight but she brings Kevin with her. Barney looks at her as she shakes her head “no” and time stops for him; you can see in that moment more than any other that he truly is in love with her. 

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Liebster #2

I can’t believe that I’ve been nominated for a fourth award! Thank you so much My Head and Me, it’s such an honor! Since I was nominated for the Liebster not long ago by the same person I have decided to just answer the questions. Thank you so much (: 

11 Question

1. Who is your favorite YouTuber? Kingsley.
2. Ice Cream or chocolate? I love both but definitely chocolate.
3. If you could live anywhere where would you live? I’m not really sure, where ever my family is… and that would be here haha. 
4. Adventure holiday or a Spa? I’ve never been to a spa, that sounds so nice! 
5. Your favorite TV show? I have a lot of favorites haha. 
6. Do you have a favorite designer? No. 
7.Do you have a favorite film of all time? Spider-man ❤ 
8. Vampires or werewolves? Neither.
9. If you had one wish for yourself, what would it be? To be truly happy someday. 
10. Pink or blue? Definitely blue.
11. Are you a heels or a flats girl? Flats but I can do heels too, I just don’t very often. 

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One For the Books.

If you follow my blog twitter, you’d probably know that I’ve been searching for a time to write about last weekend since it was the best weekend EVER! I finally have time to sit down and get it done (: Let’s start this by saying that my mom bought me tickets for my third Luke Bryan concert for Christmas. I get fan club tickets so it’s pretty much a surprise as to where you’re sitting, so I figured they’d be okay seats but wan’t really sure what to expect. On February 22, 2013 (Friday) my mom woke me up to tell me that we had a snow day so I could go back to sleep for a while, when I woke back up, it was time to get our things together to go to Louisville, Kentucky for the concert. Once our car was packed up, we embarked on our weekend road trip!

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That night we arrived at our hotel that connected to the stadium, we got dressed and walked over to the show. The first man we asked to point us in the right direction said, “These are really good seats.” When we finally got inside the stadium, I looked around at all of the people who were anxiously awaiting Thompson Square, one of Luke’s opening acts.My mom asked another man to tell us exactly where we’d be sitting; he informed us that we had floor seats. The two of us made our way down a few flights of stairs before realizing that our seats were RIGHT next to the stage. During the concert Luke touched my hand twice, it was so amazing to be so close to him! The person in the picture to the left is Luke on stage and the girl in the cowboy hat would be me (:

The day after seeing Luke, my mom and I decided to go to see the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory. At first I wanted to go but I also wanted to go home but once we walked in the doors, I was so excited to see everything. The first thing that happened when we walked into the museum was that we were able to hold the bat of one of six players. My mom choose Mickey Mantle and I picked up Joey Votto’s, it was really, really cool. Then we had a tour of the factory and got to watch a video showing a series of baseball player interviews. I even got to take a picture with a life size statue of one of my favorite players, Ken Griffey Jr. All in all, it’s hard to argue against this being the best weekend of my life! If you ever want to get away for a short vacation and you live within five or six hours from there, I highly recommend checking out the museum! There are a lot of other cool things in Louisville, too!

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It’s 2013- Everyone has a twitter, right? I mean even my mom is a member, along with over five-hundred million other people. Because of that fact I have decided to make an account for my blog! Click here to go straight to the new twitter page and follow me! I also have an Ask.fm account where you can ask me ANYTHING and it will remain completely anonymous! http://Ask.fm/ayeitssyd. Thanks everyone ❤

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Personify, my love.

I used to believe in Love, then one day I refused to allow it the honor of placement in my mind. People around me would be searching for another person to fill a void that they thought only this strange concept of “Love” would fill. Then, one day, I met someone who changed my mind and I began to believe in that concept just as everyone else around me did. I felt it; I enjoyed its magic, I indulged in its warmth, I made myself comfortable in its presence. That was my tragic error, the single action that really led to my demise.. I was so comfortable with Love, I so deeply ingrained that word and the things that came with it into who I was, I told people that I was in love and I knew that my lips were speaking the truth of my heart.

Twice before had I felt that word creeping into my life, attempting to steal the ground from beneath my awkwardly positioned feet. Twice before I had become overwhelmingly frightened. The word would call upon its meaning to assassinate me, to come after me to poison my emotions. However, those other times the word lost track of me as I continued to hide from it, running so much faster than it could. You see, without my thoughts and emotions to feed on, the word had no power; it was slow, fragile, and weak.

This time it managed to hold my attention just long enough. I began to trust it, but that only helped it to grow. It became a bigger monster everyday, though I felt no harm- I thought Love wanted me to be happy. Love took me in, made me feel at ease then struck like a cobra, ripping away everything I thought I knew. It teased me once I was injured, it continued to stand above me as it laughed. With each tear I shed, it only became louder.

That’s why I no longer believe in Love, though everyone says it has some kind of healing powers. Just wait until Love trips them and steals away their joy, as it did to me. I wonder how many of them will still enjoy its company once they’re bleeding on the cold, hard ground.

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