Tag Archives: girl

The Path Less Traveled By.

I’ve never quite understood the people who cross streets on the crosswalk.

I always watch these individuals as they go out of their way and take the path of all the people before them, they look both ways, and they stay within the confines of those white lines. It’s so silly to me that someone would go so far out of their way just to follow a rule made by society, a law with little merit, especially on a street like this one. The road is virtually untraveled, making me wonder why the crosswalk exists in the first place. Who declared that they must paint white stripes across this particular road? Who thought that human beings were so stupid that they could not be trusted to cross this one lane side street without being mowed down by a car? I felt a crocked smile beam across my face as yet another person took the long way from the building she came out of to the crosswalk.

In moments like these I simply ask myself if everyone in the country can be put in one of two categories: those who must cross the crosswalk, and those who choose to take their own path.

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The day the wonderland collapsed around Alice

Alice suddenly found herself smiling at a text message and looked up to see if anyone had noticed; she took solace that, for once, the fact that no one paid her much attention had actually shown benefits. She had been texting a boy for a few days, knowing that it would likely never go anywhere and strangely not knowing whether or not she wanted it to. It had been about a week since Joel had talked to her, but she wasn’t going to let it bring her down. He was with Madison and had never really shown much interest, so she attempted to brush him off by texting this new boy. She finally allowed herself to stop thinking about his perfect black hair, sexy lip ring, and the way he laughed whenever she tried to make a joke, most people didn’t find her as funny as he seemed to and she enjoyed that attention. She typed back, dreading the fact that once he fell asleep she would go right back to reminiscing about the strong friendship she’d developed with Joel, she’d replay the memories in her head for the hundredth time, she’d remember his kiss with Madison the very day she’d planned to tell him how she felt, and, worst of all, she’d remember the way her tears tasted that evening. It was going to be a long night.

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We all need a little guidance sometimes.

Feel free to skip to the (*) unless you happen to be my grandparents or just enjoy an angry rant from time to time! (: 

I did something stupid two nights ago and, because my grandparents have decided that it’s okay to deny me any privacy (I found my blog up on their computer a few weeks ago which REALLY pissed me off), I’m afraid I can’t tell you the whole story. Before I begin, do you even know how upset I am that I opened my grandparents’ laptop only to see “Just One Girl” across the screen? I can’t communicate to you the feelings of violation, anger, sadness, and confusion I felt. There’s no way that they could have found my blog… there are a total of three people who I’ve ever allowed to see my blog. None of them would have any contact with my grandparents, so I have no idea how they found it. The thing that upsets me the most is that I made a Myspace and my mom demanded that I add her as a friend, I made a facebook and my entire family hopped on board even though I didn’t want to add any of them, then I started twitter (I was alone for awhile because it wasn’t popular yet but soon everyone was following me and my grandmother decided it was acceptable for her to stalk my profile and point out cussing, ect. to my mom -_-), and now a blog. I made this blog for ONE MAIN REASON, so I could finally vent my private thoughts to people who could give me advice that don’t actually know me or have any ties to my life. I’m irritated as FUCK (your welcome grandma) that my privacy has been FUCKING taken from me. All I wanted was one FUCKING GOD DAMN place to vent, get advice, and talk about my life without my family or peers knowing about it. 

*Anyways, back to the original point of my post. My friends and I went camping for spring break. I ended up calling my ex-bestfriend Jason… I know I shouldn’t have, but I did.

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The Fifth of February.

I woke up this morning and fought with myself to get out of bed; when I finally managed to keep my eyes open, I turned to look at the clock “2/5” was all I saw. I cringed and couldn’t move… It’s the fifth of February. As I gained a more steady level of consciousness I was able to get ready and head off to school, just like any other Tuesday. I went through my entire day feelings slightly distracted and off-task, I couldn’t fully concentrate on any of my school work or even conversations with other students. One of my friends was talking to me second period (free period) and I just had to keep asking her to repeat herself; I couldn’t hear her at times and when I could it was a blur of words, all smudged together.

Then I got home and decided I should deal with my problem instead of trying not to think about it. Today is the fifth of February, which would be Ethan and I’s one year, had we not broken up a few months ago. I sat down on my couch and began to talk, out loud, through how I was feeling and what I’d been thinking. The more I talked, the better I felt, and, thus, my smile grew bigger. This would be our one year but it isn’t, it isn’t our one year because we broke up, and we broke up because we weren’t right for each other. For whatever reason the universe decided that we shouldn’t be together any longer, our relationship had run its course- it’s over now. I realized that the past two weeks of regret and thinking about things that I can never change aren’t helping anyone, especially me. I’ve been through break ups before- two that I would put in this same basic category. It’s true that I loved Ethan on a different level than the other two guys, but it hurt just as badly. A few months after each of those break ups I got really sad and couldn’t keep it all off my mind… but then I would get over and find another guy.

After Brad I told people I would never love again and that he was “the one.” Then after awhile I got over it and realized he wasn’t worth my time. Eventually, I met Jon. He was my first love, I can’t lie about that fact- he was amazing, we were so similar, and I loved him. But guess what? We broke up and I moved on! I met Ethan after a few short-lived, unsuccessful relationships a little over a year after Jon and I broke up. What does that say? There will be a next guy, an amazing one who will sweep me off my feet. With each of those guys things got slightly more serious and I loved them more. I can’t wait to meet the next guy- possibly in college next year. There’s no need to be sad when your life is as good as mine is, especially with me spending less time on social networking/ texting and my grades higher than ever, I’m feeling great! No one can hold me down or keep me from happiness.

It’s the fifth of February, just another Tuesday in the life of a young girl with a bright future ahead of her.

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Merry Ex-mas.

Honestly, if your name is Ethan, stop reading this now. I’m serious; close out of it and just move on with your life, though I’m not sure why you’re still checking in on me anyways. Normally I wouldn’t care if you read my posts, I have nothing to hide, but this is one of those days I’ve experienced many times before. In the past it’s been about different guys, other exes, and a similar, yet different situation. I’ve gone through it with Brad, Jon, even Chris… so now it’s your turn.

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Friday Advice 1

Q: I love my girlfriend but my friend Rachel is really pretty and we have so much in common. How do I break it to my girl that I want to be with someone else? 

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A Brand New Car.

I have to admit I said the title of this post in Bob Barker’s voice…

Here’s the deal, I currently drive a 92 pick up truck and I absolutely love it! It’s my first car and I can’t really imagine not having it around. However, like I said it’s a 1992… it’s broken down twice and it’s had multiple problems. Thankfully my grandpa is really good with cars and he enjoys fixing them up! Since I’m going to college in a year my dad is very adamant on us buying a new or slightly used car that will be more realiable for longer drives, which I agree with doing. The real problem is that I love my truck and I’d like nothing more than to get a newer f-150 or something of that nature. Because I’m sixteen years old, I don’t have as much experience with car buying as my dad does, obviously, so I’ve been learning.

The first thing I hate about buying a new car is how expensive they are. With the economy the way it is there’s no way that a new truck should be 30 or 40 thousand dollars. The other thing I hate is that if you manage to find one for 20,000 or less you still have to think about gas mileage and insurance rates. So pretty much, buying a new vehicle is a major pain in the ass. I think someone, somewhere should definitely be working on making truck get better gas mileage. The downside to that is that with a truck of that kind I would still be looking at a ridiculous price tag ):

Today we did find a nice 2002 Silverado for about 11,000 which is decent compared to what I’ve seen around but there’s still so much to think about. First of all, am I even sure I want a truck anymore with the price of gas skyrocketing? It’s also a little harder to park than what I have now, that would be something I’d need to get used to. I love that it seats up to six people, that it’s higher off the ground, that I’d have a bed to load things in to, that it has four wheel drive, and that I could haul a camper on it for when my dad gets one. I’ve been looking at smaller cars too and I’m not so happy about how low most of them are so I’d prefer more of an SUV if not the truck.

Being a teenager is a hard job sometimes, not only because we are treated like children but expected to handle the responsibilities of an adult, but because we don’t have the experience our parents have acquired. I never would have considered insurance rates going up, even though I pride myself on being intelligent and mature, it wouldn’t have even crossed my mind.

Wish me luck on my car/truck hunt… I hope I end up with something I’ll love that will last awhile! (:

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