Tag Archives: happy

Fate.

As you could probably infer, today I’m going to tell you a little story about fate. I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. The hard part of this theory for some people is that some things you don’t know the reason or maybe you just won’t understand until later. I’ve put a lot of things together lately which is beautiful to me, and I’d like to share some of it.
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A Huge Part of My Life.al

No, I’m not talking about my family, friends, boys, or anything like that. I am talking about one of the biggest and most important parts of who I am, though… music. To some people music is a nice beat that makes the dance or something to jam out to in the car but to me it’s so much more. Music is my escape, my get away, my freedom; music is a way to express myself and, sometimes, lose myself. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve needed music to make myself stop crying, help me fall asleep, or just calm me down.

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Reflection.

Wow. I can’t believe it’s really coming to an end… I feel like my life is ending and a brand new one is about to begin. No one told me how much emotion, deep thoughts, and worrying come into play when you graduate from high school; they don’t tell you how bittersweet the whole thing is. I’ve basically checked out of school because I know I’m ready for summer but I don’t know if I’m ready to check out of my hometown and go away to college… I’m nervous. I know it’ll be a blast, and two of my cousins live nearby. The thing I’m really scared for is to leave this life behind… especially a few important people. My parents always say that they aren’t friends with any of their high school friends but I don’t want that to happen. This year I went through friends faster than any other period of my life, I had several “best friends” that were dropped for one reason or another, however I have two friends that have made it since 6th & 7th grade, they’re amazing and I don’t want to fall out of contact with them.. it’s actually a good thing that they’re staying in town for at least the first year of their educations, that means I can see them when I come home. There is one friend I’m worried about losing though, she’s become my very best friend over the past few months- she’s everything I’ve ever wanted in a best friend, the only person I’ve ever met with the same taste in music, she’s also the only friend I’ve ever had that was willing to lay it all on the line to have my back. I’m so lucky to have finally found someone with the characteristics I’ve always wanted in a friend, someone who honestly cares about me as much as I care about them; it’s a powerful feeling. I guess I’m scared that I’ll go away to college and leave them behind, maybe they won’t talk to me anymore and they’ll fade away ):

I’m also kind of scared to leave my parents. I can’t wait to be able to make my own decisions without having to text them every time I make a move. It’s annoying and I can’t wait until I can be spontaneous without having to tell them where I’ll be/ when I’ll be home. I will miss them though, I’ll miss seeing them whenever I want and telling them about my day. I just feel like I’m too young to leave home… even though I want to.

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Liebster #2

I can’t believe that I’ve been nominated for a fourth award! Thank you so much My Head and Me, it’s such an honor! Since I was nominated for the Liebster not long ago by the same person I have decided to just answer the questions. Thank you so much (: 

11 Question

1. Who is your favorite YouTuber? Kingsley.
2. Ice Cream or chocolate? I love both but definitely chocolate.
3. If you could live anywhere where would you live? I’m not really sure, where ever my family is… and that would be here haha. 
4. Adventure holiday or a Spa? I’ve never been to a spa, that sounds so nice! 
5. Your favorite TV show? I have a lot of favorites haha. 
6. Do you have a favorite designer? No. 
7.Do you have a favorite film of all time? Spider-man ❤ 
8. Vampires or werewolves? Neither.
9. If you had one wish for yourself, what would it be? To be truly happy someday. 
10. Pink or blue? Definitely blue.
11. Are you a heels or a flats girl? Flats but I can do heels too, I just don’t very often. 

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One For the Books.

If you follow my blog twitter, you’d probably know that I’ve been searching for a time to write about last weekend since it was the best weekend EVER! I finally have time to sit down and get it done (: Let’s start this by saying that my mom bought me tickets for my third Luke Bryan concert for Christmas. I get fan club tickets so it’s pretty much a surprise as to where you’re sitting, so I figured they’d be okay seats but wan’t really sure what to expect. On February 22, 2013 (Friday) my mom woke me up to tell me that we had a snow day so I could go back to sleep for a while, when I woke back up, it was time to get our things together to go to Louisville, Kentucky for the concert. Once our car was packed up, we embarked on our weekend road trip!

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That night we arrived at our hotel that connected to the stadium, we got dressed and walked over to the show. The first man we asked to point us in the right direction said, “These are really good seats.” When we finally got inside the stadium, I looked around at all of the people who were anxiously awaiting Thompson Square, one of Luke’s opening acts.My mom asked another man to tell us exactly where we’d be sitting; he informed us that we had floor seats. The two of us made our way down a few flights of stairs before realizing that our seats were RIGHT next to the stage. During the concert Luke touched my hand twice, it was so amazing to be so close to him! The person in the picture to the left is Luke on stage and the girl in the cowboy hat would be me (:

The day after seeing Luke, my mom and I decided to go to see the Louisville Slugger Museum and Factory. At first I wanted to go but I also wanted to go home but once we walked in the doors, I was so excited to see everything. The first thing that happened when we walked into the museum was that we were able to hold the bat of one of six players. My mom choose Mickey Mantle and I picked up Joey Votto’s, it was really, really cool. Then we had a tour of the factory and got to watch a video showing a series of baseball player interviews. I even got to take a picture with a life size statue of one of my favorite players, Ken Griffey Jr. All in all, it’s hard to argue against this being the best weekend of my life! If you ever want to get away for a short vacation and you live within five or six hours from there, I highly recommend checking out the museum! There are a lot of other cool things in Louisville, too!

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Personify, my love.

I used to believe in Love, then one day I refused to allow it the honor of placement in my mind. People around me would be searching for another person to fill a void that they thought only this strange concept of “Love” would fill. Then, one day, I met someone who changed my mind and I began to believe in that concept just as everyone else around me did. I felt it; I enjoyed its magic, I indulged in its warmth, I made myself comfortable in its presence. That was my tragic error, the single action that really led to my demise.. I was so comfortable with Love, I so deeply ingrained that word and the things that came with it into who I was, I told people that I was in love and I knew that my lips were speaking the truth of my heart.

Twice before had I felt that word creeping into my life, attempting to steal the ground from beneath my awkwardly positioned feet. Twice before I had become overwhelmingly frightened. The word would call upon its meaning to assassinate me, to come after me to poison my emotions. However, those other times the word lost track of me as I continued to hide from it, running so much faster than it could. You see, without my thoughts and emotions to feed on, the word had no power; it was slow, fragile, and weak.

This time it managed to hold my attention just long enough. I began to trust it, but that only helped it to grow. It became a bigger monster everyday, though I felt no harm- I thought Love wanted me to be happy. Love took me in, made me feel at ease then struck like a cobra, ripping away everything I thought I knew. It teased me once I was injured, it continued to stand above me as it laughed. With each tear I shed, it only became louder.

That’s why I no longer believe in Love, though everyone says it has some kind of healing powers. Just wait until Love trips them and steals away their joy, as it did to me. I wonder how many of them will still enjoy its company once they’re bleeding on the cold, hard ground.

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The Fifth of February.

I woke up this morning and fought with myself to get out of bed; when I finally managed to keep my eyes open, I turned to look at the clock “2/5” was all I saw. I cringed and couldn’t move… It’s the fifth of February. As I gained a more steady level of consciousness I was able to get ready and head off to school, just like any other Tuesday. I went through my entire day feelings slightly distracted and off-task, I couldn’t fully concentrate on any of my school work or even conversations with other students. One of my friends was talking to me second period (free period) and I just had to keep asking her to repeat herself; I couldn’t hear her at times and when I could it was a blur of words, all smudged together.

Then I got home and decided I should deal with my problem instead of trying not to think about it. Today is the fifth of February, which would be Ethan and I’s one year, had we not broken up a few months ago. I sat down on my couch and began to talk, out loud, through how I was feeling and what I’d been thinking. The more I talked, the better I felt, and, thus, my smile grew bigger. This would be our one year but it isn’t, it isn’t our one year because we broke up, and we broke up because we weren’t right for each other. For whatever reason the universe decided that we shouldn’t be together any longer, our relationship had run its course- it’s over now. I realized that the past two weeks of regret and thinking about things that I can never change aren’t helping anyone, especially me. I’ve been through break ups before- two that I would put in this same basic category. It’s true that I loved Ethan on a different level than the other two guys, but it hurt just as badly. A few months after each of those break ups I got really sad and couldn’t keep it all off my mind… but then I would get over and find another guy.

After Brad I told people I would never love again and that he was “the one.” Then after awhile I got over it and realized he wasn’t worth my time. Eventually, I met Jon. He was my first love, I can’t lie about that fact- he was amazing, we were so similar, and I loved him. But guess what? We broke up and I moved on! I met Ethan after a few short-lived, unsuccessful relationships a little over a year after Jon and I broke up. What does that say? There will be a next guy, an amazing one who will sweep me off my feet. With each of those guys things got slightly more serious and I loved them more. I can’t wait to meet the next guy- possibly in college next year. There’s no need to be sad when your life is as good as mine is, especially with me spending less time on social networking/ texting and my grades higher than ever, I’m feeling great! No one can hold me down or keep me from happiness.

It’s the fifth of February, just another Tuesday in the life of a young girl with a bright future ahead of her.

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A Day Unplugged.

If you’ve read my last post, you have a better idea of why I’ve been such a downer lately! I’m really sorry to all of you guys, I’m going to work on those issues and work toward a healthier, happier me. Last night after I wrote that post I got really sad and decided that I should turn off my phone to keep myself from bothering everyone on twitter. This morning I woke up and instead of instantly checking my social media, I just got dressed and ignored the phone’s existence. Before leaving for school I stuck in my purse, still off; actually, it’s still just sitting on the table, leaving me unavailable to the world. There’s something about being unreachable and away from all of the statuses, tweets, and pictures that seems so refreshing to me- I love it. Today I was able to focus more in school, I felt a little more confident, and I even answered questions in class. I was beyond proud of myself for shutting off my addiction to those stupid apps and just having a good day… I didn’t have texts to reply to or anything. To be honest with you, I’m not sure why it improved my mood so much, it just did! I feel great about my decision today and I’m not sure when it will be turned back on- we’ll see! (: 

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Deep.

Tonight I decided to look through my old messages on myspace and all of my old wall posts and such. I can’t even believe how much my life has changed in the past four or five years. I was reading my messages with my boyfriend from 8th grade, Brad, and I honestly couldn’t stop laughing. All of the messages were like “I love you so much, I want to marry you someday” and then we’d break up and it’d be like “I hate you” then, magically, go back to “I love you” again. I remember back then I really thought we were meant to be but now, looking back, we were only like thirteen years old. I still know Brad, actually, we’ve had an interesting past but now I can walk by him and not feel anything. These messages made me think a lot because in eighth grade I didn’t know I would date a guy named Jon for five months or a guy named Ethan for eight. I didn’t even know who Ethan was. Crazy, right? That all makes me hopeful for college next year because who know who I’ll meet? Maybe my next boyfriend really will be “the one” that I thought Brad was. Who knows? The future is wide open, my book isn’t even half way over. (: 

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