Tag Archives: relationships

Personify, my love.

I used to believe in Love, then one day I refused to allow it the honor of placement in my mind. People around me would be searching for another person to fill a void that they thought only this strange concept of “Love” would fill. Then, one day, I met someone who changed my mind and I began to believe in that concept just as everyone else around me did. I felt it; I enjoyed its magic, I indulged in its warmth, I made myself comfortable in its presence. That was my tragic error, the single action that really led to my demise.. I was so comfortable with Love, I so deeply ingrained that word and the things that came with it into who I was, I told people that I was in love and I knew that my lips were speaking the truth of my heart.

Twice before had I felt that word creeping into my life, attempting to steal the ground from beneath my awkwardly positioned feet. Twice before I had become overwhelmingly frightened. The word would call upon its meaning to assassinate me, to come after me to poison my emotions. However, those other times the word lost track of me as I continued to hide from it, running so much faster than it could. You see, without my thoughts and emotions to feed on, the word had no power; it was slow, fragile, and weak.

This time it managed to hold my attention just long enough. I began to trust it, but that only helped it to grow. It became a bigger monster everyday, though I felt no harm- I thought Love wanted me to be happy. Love took me in, made me feel at ease then struck like a cobra, ripping away everything I thought I knew. It teased me once I was injured, it continued to stand above me as it laughed. With each tear I shed, it only became louder.

That’s why I no longer believe in Love, though everyone says it has some kind of healing powers. Just wait until Love trips them and steals away their joy, as it did to me. I wonder how many of them will still enjoy its company once they’re bleeding on the cold, hard ground.

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Answers.

I got bored and decided to do a survey, now you can learn a little more about me! Then, copy it and do it on your blogs too!

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Connecting The Dots.

Symptoms:

  • apathy
  • complaints of pains, including headaches, stomachaches, low back pain, or fatigue
  • difficulty concentrating
  • difficulty making decisions
  • excessive or inappropriate guilt
  • irresponsible behavior — for example, forgetting obligations, being late for classes, skipping school
  • loss of interest in food or compulsive overeating that results in rapid weight loss or gain
  • memory loss
  • preoccupation with death and dying
  • rebellious behavior
  • sadness, anxiety or a feeling of hopelessness
  • staying awake at night and sleeping during the day
  • sudden drop in grades
  • use of alcohol or drugs and promiscuous sexual activity
  • withdrawal from friends

To some of you, you know exactly what these are symptoms of- maybe you’ve lived through it or you’ve written a paper about it, or maybe you have no idea what I’m talking about yet. My entire life I’ve been struggling with chunks of time that I just feel sad, helpless, useless, unimportant, un-cared for, you name it! It’s hard to look myself in the mirror sometimes… so yes, after finally getting tired of these periods of time that I usually block out when I become normal again, I’ve decided to get on the computer and figure out if what’s wrong with me is normal teenage hormone type stuff or if it could be more serious. The symptoms I have listen above are that of teen depression which is a really serious thing, about 20% of people will experience depression before reaching adulthood… that’s a large amount.

I just kind of wanted to share this personal part of my life with you guys since I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’ve been a little down lately… it feels good to get it out. I’ve gone to two different counselors in my life and am planning to have a conversation about this with my mom to get a new one who would be more helpful to me in this specific area. So since I’ve decided to share something pretty personal today, I think I’ll tell you a story that embarrasses me a little bit, just because I need to get it off my chest and it’s related.

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Judgement.

This post is about a few things, but mostly it’s about my mother. Before I start this, you have to know that I love her… she’s always there for me and she really is a great person. She’s strong, independent and she’s been through a ton in her life. However, just like all moms do, sometimes she drives me crazy; she tends to be kind of judgemental and even hypocritical at times. Bare with me.

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The Bright Side.

I realized something today. I’ve been so far out of my comfort zone all week and I LOVE IT. Last week was probably the best of my life. It started out horrible because Ethan broke up with me after eight months, but after that something amazing happened: I became happier than ever. I started talking to some new people, getting their numbers, and hanging out with new people too. If you knew me, you’d know that’s just not stuff that I do very often. I don’t like to reach out to people and I have a really bad anxiety problem. However, this break up was the little kick I needed to start living my senior year to the fullest. When I lost my friends last year to date Ethan, I was trading in two or three good friendships for one boy. It sounds stupid now but I assure you it was probably the right decision. Except for the fact that I didn’t bother finding new friends or anything because I had one amazing friend and a few that I hadn’t lost.

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Friday Advice Pitch

I’d love to hear what you guys think of this new idea, feel free to comment below or email me! (:

I want to start something new with the goal of getting my readers more actively involved in my blog! So, starting on Friday October 19th, I will doing kind of an advice column here on the blog.

If you need advice on ANY TOPIC, send your questions and whatever details are necessary to my email, which is blog.offmychest@gmail.com with the subject line “Friday Advice.” If I get a lot of emails, I’ll have to pick just a few to answer and maybe save some for a slower week. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get to every problem and I’ll really be able to help you out. It’ll be completely anonymous so don’t be afraid- I promise I don’t bite (:

Thanks guys! I hope you like this idea and that you continue reading my blog (and enjoying it)! I love you all ❤

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Chivalry is dead. Feminism is the murderer.

I came across that quote today and started thinking about it. Chivalry and feminism are two different things, though I understand where one could come to that conclusion. A lot of people think of chivalry as opening the door for women and paying for dates and such. I, personally, hate when guys always feel the need to pay for things. However, I really don’t mind letting them pay, as long as I get to pay for stuff once in awhile (that’s not really feminism though, I feel the same way about other girls/ friends).

Want to know where I found that lovely little quote? On the website http://www.fmylife.com. And, yes, fml because I was so bored I had enough time to just hangout on that site haha! Anyways, I found it as a comment to “Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, “By the way, you wanna get hitched?” This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML.”

  1. I though it was pretty funny, I actually laughed out loud. Why? I’m not sure. I guess that just screams 21st century man to me for some reason haha.
  2. I didn’t agree with “feminism is the murderer” because I don’t think that feminists fight for men to be rude to women… I’m pretty sure in regard to marriage, they’d just say that women should be able to ask men to marry them, too! And whoever decides to propose, whether it be a man or a woman, they really should make it special.
  3. Chivalry isn’t dead. Girls like when you open the door for them and act like a gentlemen. What they don’t like is to be looked down upon because they’re women. We aren’t second class citizens.
  4. Feminism has done great things for our country. Women are just as able to work as men are.. and you know what? Men are just as able to clean and cook.

I think chivalry is dead because men, just like all other Americans, continue to get lazier. Putting the effort into proposals, opening doors, paying for things, ect. can be a lot of work or just a general pain in the ass. I think a lot of people use “feminist” as a derogatory term and I really just don’t understand that! Feminists are just trying to look out for their rights as human beings- they want you to see them as equals. I think that’s a perfectly normal thing to want!

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Friend doesn’t mean forever.

Alright guys, let’s get personal today- shall we? I’d like to start off by saying that I’m about to be a senior in high school so this post is about teenage girls and how mean they are truly capable of being. I like to consider myself mature, I tend to stay out of drama to the best of my ability but some times, things happen.

The story I’m about to tell you is completely true, and mild compared to what some girls go through in high schools all over the world, but it’s what happened to me and I feel like sharing! So I’ve had this best friend since sixth grade, we’ve always been really close and I love her to death! A few months ago, probably almost a year ago now, she invited me to go to a movie with her and one of her newer guy friends because she “didn’t want him to think it was a date.” So I went, of course! When I got to the movie and saw her friend, I thought he was cute… but then I got the chance to talk to him; he was so funny, I couldn’t stop laughing, and he was also extremely intelligent. I asked my friend if she was sure she didn’t like him as more than a friend and when she said she was sure, I asked her to hook me up with him. That night I went so far as to tell my mom about how great this guy was. He was literally everything I look for in guys; it seemed like a perfect match. At a sleepover that night she began talking with another of our friends and was talked in to calling this guy. They talked for a long time and it was clear that she had changed her mind about him. I was upset but I figured since he liked her and not me, it would be okay. I decided to be happy for her instead of angry about it.

Maybe two weeks after they started dating I was talking to him and it slipped that I had kind of liked him when I met him and he told me that he felt the same. I felt awkward knowing that I had this crush on my bestfriend’s boyfriend, but I couldn’t shake it. When they broke up, but kept seeing each other kind of, I began talking to him more and more. My friends all thought I was flirting on him, which I really wasn’t trying to do at all, and became mad at me. It was like seven girls vs. me (the odds weren’t in my favor).

That’s how I lost my entire group of friends in one fell swoop except my bestfriend, who got over it and had a new boyfriend rather quickly. Since I figured I had nothing to lose, I began dating that boy. I began to receive tweets, facebook messages, texts, ect. about how horrible of a person I am and how much they hated me- this was all from my so called “friends.”

I’m a much stronger person because of all the drama I was forced to go through. Do I think it was a bad thing to like my friend’s boyfriend? Of course I do! But I wouldn’t have acted on that had it not been for losing everything… and you know what? I’ve been dating that boy for nearly six months now and I’m happier than ever. He’s my bestfriend, boyfriend, and the one person I trust 100%. I’m glad I did what I did or I wouldn’t have him.

Bottom line is… well… I guess, things happen. Sometimes you lose people and you just have to move on with life. Sometimes you make decisions that upset other people, you can’t beat yourself up over that. Sometimes girls are vicious creatures. Sometimes life doesn’t work out how you thought it would. You learn and you grow- you move on to bigger and better things. Life isn’t over, just that portion of it. That door has closed to a million others opening. To all the teenage girls, and even boys, out there… stay strong. It gets better! (:

Sorry for rambling on and on.. hopefully you got the lesson there! ❤

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