Tag Archives: romance

The day the wonderland collapsed around Alice

Alice suddenly found herself smiling at a text message and looked up to see if anyone had noticed; she took solace that, for once, the fact that no one paid her much attention had actually shown benefits. She had been texting a boy for a few days, knowing that it would likely never go anywhere and strangely not knowing whether or not she wanted it to. It had been about a week since Joel had talked to her, but she wasn’t going to let it bring her down. He was with Madison and had never really shown much interest, so she attempted to brush him off by texting this new boy. She finally allowed herself to stop thinking about his perfect black hair, sexy lip ring, and the way he laughed whenever she tried to make a joke, most people didn’t find her as funny as he seemed to and she enjoyed that attention. She typed back, dreading the fact that once he fell asleep she would go right back to reminiscing about the strong friendship she’d developed with Joel, she’d replay the memories in her head for the hundredth time, she’d remember his kiss with Madison the very day she’d planned to tell him how she felt, and, worst of all, she’d remember the way her tears tasted that evening. It was going to be a long night.

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If you love something, let it go.

I posted all about my weekend already, I told all of you how awesome it was. I spent time with my mom, I touched Luke Bryan; it was the perfect weekend. Sunday night I went to bed really early and woke up Monday refreshed and ready to go, Tuesday I went to an awesome hockey game with some friends, the rest of my week was just great thing after great thing. This morning a girl in my first period class who I only talk to from time to time brought me a doughnut to school… like, honestly, it was the best week ever! So I’m wondering… why is it that the only thing on my mind is Ethan, AGAIN? It’s like I get completely over him for two weeks, then I have a relapse for a few days. I hate it. 

I’m watching How I Met Your Mother right now, in the episode I finished watching just before logging on to WordPress, Barney tells Robin that he wants them to break up with their current significant others to get back together. Barney goes to Nora’s to break up with her and her parents are there, so he finally gets to meet them. Her dad says, “When you meet the right person, you know it. You can’t stop thinking about them. They’re your best friend, and your soulmate. You can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with them. No one and nothing else can compare.” Barney goes through memories of Robin as he listens because he knows that she’s his soulmate, he loves her. Robin, on the other hand, acts as if she’s going to do it but Kevin tells her that he loves her so she decides to stay with him. Barney had told Robin that they would each do what they have to do and meet at the bar at midnight but she brings Kevin with her. Barney looks at her as she shakes her head “no” and time stops for him; you can see in that moment more than any other that he truly is in love with her. 

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Words I can’t say.

It’s you- it’s always been you. There’s no one else I’d rather have holding me when I’m sad, protecting me when I’m scared, making me laugh when I’m angry, and, most importantly, celebrating with me when I’m happy. I got into college but I couldn’t celebrate that with you… I received compliments in journalism and all I wanted to do was tell you about it. When my parents and I have a fight, I need you there with me. When I miss my aunt Kristin, you’re the only one who can truly understand how much that all hurt me. You’re not the only fish in the sea, that’s true, but you’re the only one I want. I don’t want to make you jealous, I want to make you feel as important as I always used to in your arms. I want those beautiful brown eyes staring into mine every moment of the day. I don’t think I’ll ever get over this and you know what? I don’t want to. I’ve made mistakes and I have flaws, but love can conquer anything…. how did we let such an amazing relationship just slip away? I spend so much time being tough and strong… I don’t want that anymore. I don’t want my pride, I don’t care, I want you. I want to watch you draw cartoons for hours, I want to watch every movie/show that you like, I want you to tell me everything because I want to make your problems fade away. I want to eat spongebob mac and cheese on the couch, I want to go out for dinners, I want to watch every good new movie with you, I want to kiss you in the rain, I want to go to the drive-in during summer and make the bed of my trunk the most comfortable place to watch. I want to have snowball fights, I want to make out in a pool, I want to walk with you down the beach. I want you to hold my hand in the hallways and when I’m behind the wheel. I want you to come to every family event I have, I want to have a good relationship with your mom, I want to play with your cats. I want to dance with you at prom and sleep with my head on your chest that night. I want to be there for all of your big moments, I want you there for mine. I want you by my side when all of my dreams come true…. More than anything, I just want to hug you. I would give anything to wrap my arms around you and hold you close. I can’t promise that I’m perfect because no one is, but I promise that I love you and care for you more than any other girl ever will. I might like other people but I can live without them…. you’re different. I thought I loved other people before you but I was an idiot because I never even knew what love was before you. You swept me off my feet from day one. I’ll never forget the first time that I saw you because it’s the first time I believed in love at first sight. I’ve never felt more comfortable around another person, I’ve never been able to talk to someone the way I could talk with you, I’ve never felt so passionately about someone… ever. I know I can never say these things to you, Ethan, because I know that you’d shoot me down. I know your life is better without me… but mine isn’t anywhere near as great as it was when you were here. I really thought we could have been that couple… the one that ends up married and grow old together. I still wish that could be true. I love you with all of my heart and then some. I’ll never stop.

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A sad moment- there’s a site for that.

By the title you might have guessed that I’m in a bad mood and need a little venting session. If so, you’d be correct! My boyfriend has been off on a camping trip with his friends for the past week, which is good! I’m glad he’s getting to spend time with them and have fun. I’ve also been keeping busy with my two and a half friends, baseball, family, and, tomorrow, a concert! My week hasn’t been bad at all except that he’s missing… the most important person in the world, next to family. He’s been off on this fun adventure with spotty phone coverage and whatnot. I’m not one of those girls who always needs a man to be happy- but I need this man. I’m so sad without him, it’s crazy… I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Especially because tomorrow’s our six month anniversary. That doesn’t seem like too long but, trust me, it feel like I’ve known him forever. I know it’s too soon to say he’s the one or we’re going to get married because I don’t know what the future holds- what I am saying is that if we were around twenty-five right now, I’d marry him. I love him that much, more than I ever thought I was capable of loving someone. So when it’s FINALLY Monday and I get to see my boy, I will be more than happy. I don’t have a word for how thrilled I’ll be just to see him smile (: I just hope that I make him half as happy as he makes me. Because if I do, this relationship isn’t going anywhere, it’ll be here for quite awhile. Not seeing him for even just a week is so hard for me!

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